Posts by Andrea Wideman

20

"Spiritism" has Rapidly Spread in JW Congregations

by metatron in

jw
friends

sister k, like countless other witness sisters, has a number of vague, ill-defined symptoms that drag her down physically.. her md can't find much specific that's wrong - so she seeks help from an alternative healer - who uses "healing crystals",.

"flower essences", "rebalancing energy meridians" and the like.

she seems to benefit from this - and the healer is also.

Andrea Wideman

Isn't the way the JW's focus on the demons all the time a form of spiritism?

57

Is it possible that a child molester is NOT a pedophile?

by sir82 in

i realize many here have (unfortunately) much more experience with this sort of thing than i do.

any personal insight, or direction to research material, would be appreciated.. there was a letter to all boes about 8-10 years ago, saying that if an appointed elder had any incidents of child abuse in his history, he had to step forward & admit such, so that his status as an elder could be reviewed.

none of the elders in this congregation said anything.. it was later (maybe 5 years ago) discovered that one of the elders had sexually abused his daughters some time in the 80's, before his appointment.

Andrea Wideman

Does it really matter what they are called? They still hurt kids and shouldn't be allowed around them.

38

Does anyone know of a good church I could go to?

by Andrea Wideman in

after being a catholic and a jw i am really gun shy about organized religions.

i identify myself simply as a christian.

i am looking for a church to go to for fellowship.

Andrea Wideman

After being a Catholic and a JW I am really gun shy about organized religions. I identify myself simply as a Christian. I am looking for a church to go to for fellowship. I am so new at being totally free that I am afraid to even call up a church and ask questions about their doctrine for fear they will hunt me down or I should say "try to guide me to the correct path". Mostly I look online and try to research them that way but it is difficult for find information on specific churches. Has anyone gone looking for a church, not to join, but to go to sometimes? So far I am not finding anything that fits my needs.
Any help or shared experiences would be appreciated.
Thank you
Andrea

9

trouble making real friends

by dezpbem in

jw
friends

we push people away and keep them at a distance out of fear.

fear of getting close again.

many ex-jw's have an odd habit of pushing people away.

Andrea Wideman

I was raised as a Catholic and had a very screwed up childhood. I was adopted by a wonderful older couple when I was a baby. They were fine it was the extended family that hurt me so bad that I have trouble connecting and trusting people. Any thing that could be used to hurt, humillate, and make me feel bad about myself they would say. They would constantly point out my "faults", being fat was one of them, and belittle me constantly. I learned to cut someone to ribbons verbally better than I learned to show love. It took me years to totally trust Joel, someone who has only showed me unconditional love, and to learn how to let people into my life.
In my case being a JW and getting out didn't make it difficult to make real friends what made it hard was my own background. Unfortunately JW's aren't the only ones who isolate you and abuse you. I now think that any organized religion could do the same, not that they would, but that they could.

15

Small (toy) dogs.

by greendawn in

they are cute breeds like king charles, maltese, pug, etc and one can see them often on the city streets taken for walks by their owners.

they feel comfortable even in a small appartment, don't shed an aweful lot of hair, are affectionate, and don't cost much to feed.

on the other hand they are not made for very long walks out in the countryside or mountains they can accidently be seriously injured due to their delicate physique and can be very aggressive with strangers.

Andrea Wideman

I prefer medium size dogs myself,preferably mutts adopted from the SPCA, but since I live in an apt we have a cat. Her name is Shadow and Joel and I adopted her from the SPCA to cheer me up right before I had my gall bladder removed. This cat was very helpful in cheering me up as she jumped on my incision the day I came home from the hospital. Also repeated that behavior a few more times before my screams of pain scared her off my tummy for good. Oh and I forgot to mention that every time she jumped on me she had been in Joel's arms. He always felt so bad when it happened but it kept happening. At least I can laugh about it now and Shadow still stays off my stomach.
I might have a better case for getting a dog if Joel liked them, but he considers them dumb, and if we had a house with a big yard. Oh well maybe in the future....

42

Have I been red flagged?

by searching4? in

i find it very weird that in 13 years, not one jw has come knocking on my door.

i don't live in my home town and have had no contact with witnesses ( besides my mom) since i was disfellowshipped in 1992. is it possible that my mom ( still a witness) has alerted the local kingdom hall and had me placed on the " do not call" list?

or maybe i just live in the area of slacker witnesses?

Andrea Wideman

Could it be that your mom contacted the KH in your area and told them that you are DF'd? I mean the JW's love to share information. The monday after I DA'd I got a call from my JW mother-in-law who said that she had heard that I had left. Somebody from my KH called her and told her that I wrote my letter of disassocation. Hmmm I thought that stuff was supposed to be kept private.

6

When I was DF'd... briefly

by Cygnus in

jw
friends

when generously given the opportunity to go before three men who, for the community of persons i grew up with and shared with, even owed my life to, would judge me as a wicked hater of righteousness, i got a word in, and maybe some day that word will be remembered, or could be of use to someone.. many of you know my story.

i'm not going into the whole thing here.

i will say, i quit the jws in 6/97 and the elders finally df'd me in 4/00.

Andrea Wideman

The JW's like to tell who our friends are. I have a best friend who is a Baptist. In many ways she has been more loving to me than those who were my supposed bros ans sisters. She is a good association and it is the JW's who are the bad associations to have. It is wonderful that you stuck with your true friend.

50

CHEATING ON FIELD SERVICE

by chuckyy in

towards the end of my time as a jw, i must confess to cheating whilst out on field service.. 1. i would turn up at the field service arrangement with my wife, and we would say that we were working together that day to do return visits.

as everyone went out, we would simply get into our car and drive home.

(hypocritical i know).

Andrea Wideman

I cheated on my service but in the opposite direction. I would put 10 hours down when I really did much more than that. I started doing this when I was told that I couldn't possibly have done that many hours of field service because I worked too much. What the JW's didn't consider is that I would witness to people on the public bus which my commute would take me hours every day. Plus I also would witness to my customers, I was a cashier, while I checked them out and to my co workers. I also witnessed to my Joel constantly. I would witness to my friends and my Mom.
I kept track of my time in minutes. I have OCD which means that I had to keep accurate accounts of my time.
It hurt me deeply when I wasn't believed about my field service time. It was at this point I stopped caring about turning in my time and eventually stopped doing it unless the bro in charge asked me for it. Then I would just jot down 5 hours or whatever. I still kept witnessing because I love God very much but for me it was just one more reason to be unhappy with the organization.
If anyone else here was doubted about the time they really did in service and was told this to their face I hope they speak up.

31

Greetings

by Severus in

just a brief introduction to get me started.

i am still one of jehovah's witnesses although delicately extricating myself from this complicated situation.

i have family to be concerned about, and this still binds me to the religion like a fragile cobweb.. i wonder that the jw paranoia of harry potter was what initially piqued my interest?

Andrea Wideman

Welcome to the board!
I too love Harry Potter and own all the movies. I also didn't understand why it was, and other things that seemed okay ,bad to the JW's.
I wish you good luck in trying to keep your relationships together because once you leave they will shun you. Unless they decide to leave with you.

11

Personal vendetta against you

by pratt1 in

.

were there any elders, co's or any one else in a postion of importance that had a personal issue with you that clouded their judgement?.

how did you handle it?

Andrea Wideman

When I was being questioned by a "brother" regarding going further and getting baptized. He said to me that he doubted my commitment because I only owned 1 dress. That really hurt. Silly me I guess I was just so used to being kicked around that I stayed and worked even harder on baptism.One of my friends in the KH bought me 3 dresses. That really shut him up and he stopped protesting my getting baptised.
Later after I was baptised they really started picking on my kids. Other kids could color, draw, and play with toys. Mine weren't even supposed to get up to go to the bathroom. Shortly after they started in on my kids I stopped bringing them to most meetings. They also really started in on Joel and why wasn't he there and called him a non supportive spouse.That is when I just stopped attending meetings at all. I knew if they kept it up I would really lose my temper and verbally let them all have it.
I have to say that it still bugs me that most of those who were raised JW still look down on the converts and treat them all so shabbily.